feeling sick

Under the weather

It’s sunny, but windy; perfect 22°C. I wish I could get into my Reebok royal classic’s, put my sunglasses on and grab a coffee from a nearby place. And walk.

Wind in my hair, sun rays on my skin; sips of warm unsweetened coffee; slow pace steps. Thoughts through my mind, no one to talk back. Nowhere to go, nothing to do. Just walk. Think. Enjoy the weather.

Unfortunately, I’ve been under a different kind of weather. I felt sick for the past couple of days. The other day, I woke up around 5 am with a crazy vertigo that made me incredibly nauseous. I was shaking really bad and I didn’t know what to do. It lasted for about 2 hours when I finally calmed down and went back to bed. But, I was getting waves of sickness all the time for the past couple of days. I finally started to feel better, but this morning a woke up with pain in my stomach. Now, I have a urinary tract infection and I feel like I’m going crazy. It’s driving me mad! I hate it so much!


I love the sunshine that’s getting inside my room; it’s almost like it’s calling me out. I hear distant laughter; someone’s having fun out there.

Should I keep reading “Mrs Dalloway” or start the new “Narcos” season?


High voltage ~ Висок напон

My head is throbbing, my vision is unclear.

Keep your eyes closed, focus on the darkness. Massaging my temples eases the tension a bit. For the moment. Clockwise circles, clockwise circles, clockwise circles…

I give up!

Get up! Can’t be in bed all day… I have to work on new designs. I might just come up with something decent today. I have to work on more tasks, make more cents. I have to keep reading and move to the next book. I have to… I have to… I have to do all these pointless stuff that doesn’t really change anything. But I have to.

…Strange but familiar vibrations are passing through my body as if you touch me, you’ll get electrocuted. Tension… I have to relax a bit… I have to work… Relax…

Work! I’m 27 and I don’t have any work experience, not a penny in the bank, nor any future prosperity.

…I took my daily vitamins and a painkiller, I hope they’ll help, but I doubt it.

Главата ми тропа, визијата ми е нејасна.

Само држи ги очите затворени, фокусирај се на темнината. Масирањево на слепоочниците ми помага да се намали тензијата барем малку. Моментално. Кругови во насока на стрелките на часовникот, кругови во насока на стрелките на часовникот, кругови во насока на стрелките на часовникот…

Се предавам!

Стани! Не можам да бидам цел ден во кревет… Морам да работам на нови дизајни. Можеби денес ќе осмислам нешто пристојно. Морам да работам да повеќе задачи, да заработам повеќе центи. Морам да продолжам да читам и да преминам на наредната книга. Морам… морам… морам да ги правам сите овие бесмислени нешта кои ништо не менуваат. Но морам.

….Чудни но познати вибрации поминуваат низ моето тело како да ако ме допреш, ќе претрпиш електричен удар. Тензија… морам да се релаксирам малку… Морам да работам… Релаксирање…

Работи! Имам 27 години и немам еден ден работен стаж, ниту еден денар во банка, ниту просперитет за иднина.

…Ги испив дневните витамини и апче против болка, се надевам дека ќе помогнат, но се сомневам.