Currently reading: “Flight To Arras” by Antoine de Saint Exupery

Finally, I have stronger concentration to be reading more books. In the past couple of weeks, I’ve read 3 books and now I’m on to my 4th. After “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland” I’ve read “The Time Machine” by H. G. Wells and it was AMAZING!

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It’s not a life changing book, but it’s so fun. That’s what I needed at the moment and I’ve really glad I stumbled upon his book. I also bought “The Invisible Man” and I wanted to read it after “The Time Machine”, but I book another 3 books and I’ve read 2 of them instead. Those are:

“The Golden Cangue” by Eileen Chang and “The Bathroom” by Jean Philippe Toussaint. I had high expectations for the first one, but I didn’t really enjoyed it that much. At moments it was boring, and that when it ended I felt a wave of sadness and realized it wasn’t that bad. The second one was a fun story and I kinda liked it. Both of this books are short and you can read them in one seating and they are more of a story to entertain your evening.

At the moment I’m reading “Flight to Arras” by Antoine de saint Exupery.

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I’ve just started reading it so I still don’t know if I liked it. Next on my reading list a 2 other books of his, so I hope they will be entertaining.

 

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New year, new challenges

I have no idea what to do anymore.

I’ve never felt more helpless in my entire life. I’ve never felt more useless and my life never seemed more empty and meaningless.

My ex best friend got married two weeks ago.

Another couple who’s 2-3 years younger than me and my boyfriend and are few years less in a relationship just got engaged tonight. Both of them have great jobs with big salaries and they moved in this amazing apartment few months ago.

I on the other hand, can’t even find a job. I’m constantly broke and can’t afford anything. We can’t get married because we don’t have any income and we’ve been together for 7 years. I’m losing any hope I had… I can’t seem to find a way to have a life. I’m stuck and I’m wasting my years away.

I literally can’t handle another year of disappointment.

Last two weeks

It’s a rainy saturday and I’m spending this day at home. My boyfriend’s out with colleagues celebrating the end of the year. I felt like going out, but I don’t have anyone to go with. I’m getting used to having no friends, but I still can’t completely bear the fact that people can so easily forget about you. I don’t know and I don’t care of the reason why that happened, it still amazes me after decade of friendship how plain and painless is for some people to act like none of that matters.

I have my focus on trying to do my own exhibit of my photographs. Hopefully, I will be able to do it in 2018. It will be a dream come true.

I wonder if people would come to see it.

Will my art be seen by other human beings?

In two weeks this year will be over. To be honest, nothing good happened to me this year. I lost my job and I’m struggling to find another. I’ve lost all of my friends and I can seem to trust anyone else to befriend. I haven’t made any money and I’m more broke than I’ve ever been in the past three years. I’m a year older.

I don’t have that good feeling I always do when starting a new year. I’m scared. I’m afraid that I will fail of changing things and I don’t know if I can take that.

Two weeks more and on to the next one.

Currently reading: Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

After I finished the Michelangelo book, I’ve moved on to two books by Virginia Woolf: “Mr. Dalloway” and “A Writer’s Diary”. The first one was okay, a little slow in a Woolf kind a way. The second one was really good, I love reading her personal thoughts and experiences. I’ve came to a conclusion: I like her style of writing, but I love her more as a person than as a writer. I find her to be a fascinating person.

After Woolf I moved on to “Thus Spoke Zarathustra” by Friedrich Nietzsche and I’m still reading it. I like it because there are a lot of great thoughts that are blowing my mind. But, at moments it feels like I’m reading the bible, so that is why I started to parallelly read another book: “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland” by Lewis Carroll. It’s perfect to break the seriousness of Nietzche and have a little fun.

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