Last two weeks

It’s a rainy saturday and I’m spending this day at home. My boyfriend’s out with colleagues celebrating the end of the year. I felt like going out, but I don’t have anyone to go with. I still can’t completely bear the fact that people can so easily forget about you.

I have my focus on trying to do my own exhibit of my photographs. Hopefully, I will be able to do it in 2018. It will be a dream come true.

I wonder if people would come to see it.

Will my art be seen by other human beings?

In two weeks this year will be over. To be honest, nothing good happened to me this year. I lost my job and I’m struggling to find another. I can seem to trust anyone enough to be able to befriend. I haven’t made any money and I’m more broke than I’ve ever been in the past three years. I’m a year older.

I don’t have that good feeling I always do when starting a new year. I’m scared. I’m afraid that I will fail of changing things and I don’t know if I can take that.

Two weeks more and on to the next one.


Book and toilet

I love reading a book while seating on the toilet. There! I’ve said it! It’s a little banal and bizarre, I admit it. But the enjoyment of reading a book is way better when you’re doing a number two. Ain’t no argument there!

Quick question: Don’t you realize how worse off you could be living?

I’ve got a notification from “On this day” on Facebook and it’s about a song a posted. Year later I can still relate to this song and I’ll probably always will.


The second verse goes like this:

“Quick question: Don’t you realize how worse off you could be living? Or not living at all; You’re lucky and you should see how many good things come your way; If you don’t you won’t make life a fun and pleasant stay”

And than the chorus:

“Think about all that you have not about what you can’t get”

I love Pennywise, it’s a great band and one of my favorites. I can relate to lot of their songs and this hits the right spot at the moment. I feel mentally exhausted cause a lot of things don’t go my way. But, I always feel grateful that I have a life, an opportunity to make good thing happened and to enjoy all that I want while I can. I don’t want to find comfort in the fact that life can always be worst, but it’s true. Be happy with what you got and fight for what you don’t.

Have a positive attitude

“If there’s something that you don’t like, change it. If you can’t change it, then change your attitude. Have a positive point of view because positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events and outcomes.”

A caption a wrote for an instagram pic I shared today.

I want to think positive thoughts. But i struggle to do so. I struggle because it’s getting harder and harder to find things to be positive about. I feel time slipping away without making any progress. I feel like I’m stuck in a quick sand and when I try to be positive about getting out of it, I make an action to escape, but every move a do, makes me sink deeper in it.

Is it worth to have a positive attitude, while being stuck in one spot and not being able to move, because if you do, it’ll get worst?

Favorite place in the city

The autumn sun feels like a lightweight delicate cardigan, soft and soothing on your skin. The yellow paths are crunching under my favorite Reebok Royal’s with every step I take. The crunching of the crispy leaves is my dearest autumn melody.

The season is changing.

Park 15

Change is beautiful. But what does it bring?

I’m soaking up the scrumptious wind that makes me think of roasted cinnamon pumpkin and warm cup of salep. I feel right at home under the orange canopy, relaxed, de-stressed. Leaves are abandoning their trees and finding their place on the ground. Piles of shades of yellow and orange are making me feel tempted to jump into them like they’re a big fluffy bean bag. Yellow bright sun rays are cutting their way through the yellow trees and leaving their light spread all over the ground.

A heavenly scene.

Park 8