My Dreams Romance Excess

Here’s my tumblr blog: http://mydreamsromanceandexcess.tumblr.com/

Everything on it is how I feel, what I think and what I love.

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Being alone ain’t easy

I remember couple of years ago I thought: it’s not hard to be alone, I could easily do that. I’m with myself all the time, I’ll focus on things I like, like books and tv series. I’ll walk in the city park, I’ll ride my bicycle, I’ll check out art exhibitions, I’ll work a job. I’ll find thing to please myself and be happy.

Now after I’ve lost all of my friends in the past 2 or 3 years, now that I’ve lost my partner that I’ve been 7 years with, now that I’ve lost my job and can’t find another one… now I feel different. I don’t think I can be alone. Being alone it’s a constant reminder that you’re possibly a disgusting person.

I think I knew back then that I will be alone in the future and I was trying to convince myself that it’s okay and that it will be fine. Well, I did happened.

There’s nothing I can really do about it now. It is what it is. I just have to learn to live with it.

“Alrighty Aphrodite” by Peach Pit

 

Take a seat back in your clamshell

If the oceans not enough, nor am I

Rollin in, I feel a dark swell

Crawling up the skin of my spine

If I’d known you sold on maybe

I’d a let you waste another guy

Well alrighty Aphrodite

Go whip that red for other eyes

Run your morning bath in sea foam

Soak your milky skin in the tide

Little pearl you think you’re in gold

But I can see the dirt in your lines

The end

0°, my feet are numb and muscles all over my body hurt from all of the shaking I’m doing from being so cold.

I’m waiting on a bus station with you so you won’t wait alone. I’m waiting for a bus to come so you’ll go home.

You said: “You are filthy in your soul and character.”

That’s it.

I’m gone.

Fuck your fake love

Next month we’ll round off 7 years of relationship. If we make it by than.

Last night he said we have a fake love and a fake relationship. I don’t. I have nothing but the realest love, passion and deep affection. Sure, we don’t have the same opinions and we often get into conflict about many things, but that doesn’t have to do anything with our love and feelings. It just means we have a different perspective on things. Is that bad? Does that make a person give fake love to another?

7 fucking years.

Most of my 20s.

FUCK YOUR FAKE LOVE.

Books are my savior

Whatever is going on in my life, I find comfort in books. It’s my perfect escape of reality. It doesn’t sound healthy, but I don’t think I can handle life other way.

Anyway, in January I was focused on Antoine de saint Exupery and I read 3 of his books. “Night Flight”, “Flight to Arras” and “Wind, Sand and Stars”. Before reading these books, I’ve only read “Little Prince” (which I really like) and I had no idea how amazing of a writer he is! Also, I didn’t know he was a pilot. I enjoyed his stories a lot, he has a fantastic imagination and great way to cope with reality. I loved his process of developing thoughts and I most definitely was amazed by his thoughts. I especially loved “Flight to Arras”.

 

 

 

After leaving Exupery’s world, I read my first Stephen King book. I read “Pet Cematary”.

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550 pages in last than 10 days! I’ve never read a book so fast. I haven’t been mesmerized by book like this in years! This book is not life-changing, nor it will teach you anything, this book is pure fun and entertainment. The story was so gripping, that I didn’t even noticed his style of writing. I just don’t care how we writes, as long as the story is intriguing, action-packed, mysterious and amusing. And this book has all of that! I can’t wait to get a hold of another SK!

Currently I’m reading “You’re in charge: A guide to becoming your own therapist” by Janette Rainwater.

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I’ve never read books of this type, so I thought I should give it a try. I’m hoping it will have a good effect on me and maybe help me get through some stuff.