Realizing what I want to do

I’m thinking of quitting my job because I really don’t like it, I make very little money and I’m not gaining any meaningful experience. 

While thinking about quitting, I made an imaginary conversation in my head with my supervisor. I started giving answers to the question: “What do you want to do if you quit this job?”. 

I want to finally do my brand of clothing. I have the name, the logo and view designs. I want to do more of that and I want to do pop up shops and want to see people wear my stuff. 

I want to draw more. I want to learn more about graphic design, I want to learn to use more designing programs and I want to do more designs. 

I want to start doing “traditional” art. I want to draw with all kinds of pencils, pens, brushes, graphite. I want to paint, I want to carve, I want to print.

I want to photograph more. I want to finally do my own photography exhibition. I want to buy amazing camera and do better photos. I want to take photos of everything in my life. 

I want to create. I want to wake up, be motivated, have an idea and do my best to execute my idea. I want at the end of the day to be like “I’ve made this! I worked today and created this. It’s the product of today’s work.”

I want to make things. I want people to see my things and have thoughts and emotions about what they see. 

I just want to create.

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Gray blanket

The city sleeps tucked in under a thick gray blanket. The sun seems to lazy to rise up, so waking up gets harder by the day.

I wish I would wake up to live for myself. I don’t want to be a slave. I want to get up motivated and start working on executing my ideas and create something. I want to give life to my creativity. I want to change minds. I want to influence lives.

I open my eyes and feel the tiredness taking over, hurting every muscle in my body. It cooperates with misery and together they make me loose interest in living.

Midweek chill

I just took shower and I feel so refreshed and relaxed. I used a new body nourishing soft oil balm that I bought on my way home from work and I feel even more refreshed and nice. I smells like a cupcake because it has ingredients such as almond extract and shea butter.

I’m in my favorite soft fleece pajama pants, just to get the full chill experience of the night. I’m having a cup of Lipton’s classic black tea and some roasted almonds. I’m finishing “Something Wicked This Way Comes” by Ray Bradbury, while listening to the crazy good “Havana Cultura: ¡Súbelo, Cuba!” songs.

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Feels good to be on my own with no obligations for couple of hours.

A book, a coffee and a park

There’s nothing more I love doing on a day off than going to my favorite place in the city with the book I’m currently reading, to just relax and enjoy a cup of coffee.

I’ve got my back against a tree, fully relaxed seating on the grass. My face is under a deep shadow, but my legs are getting sun tanned and it feels good to feel the heat on my skin. There is a nice chilly breeze brushing my face and hair, from time to time. It keeps reminding my how good it it’s to be alive.

Rad Bradbury’s “Something Wicked This Way Comes” goes well with a coconut macchiato. The taste of the Summer and the story of the Autumn. The sparkling of the water gets my attention between lines, just enough to gather my thoughts and go along with Jim’s and Will’s carnival adventure. People are passing by me, enthralled in their conversation. Friends, couples, pets, individuals. People living their life.

After finishing my coffee and couple of chapters, I’ve recharged my battery’s with my favorite protein bar and took a long walk all around the park to empty my head of the bad energy from the negative events that build up during the entire week.

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Last year part of the staff, this year part of the visual arts as an artist

Last year I volunteered to be a part of the stuff of “Paratissima Skopje“, the art fair.

I had fun and learned a lot while helping organize the event. Last year I was determined that next year I’ll be exhibiting with an art piece of mine. So, I did.

This year under a different name, “InSitu” opened on the 13.09.2018 and closed on the 15.09.2018. I exhibited a photograph that has always been one of my favorite and I always wanted to see it framed and exhibited.

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To be honest, it felt freaking amazing! I stayed true to my wish and goal that I had for a whole year, I worked on it and did something that I actually love. And I shared it with the world.

I can’t express how much this motivates me. I want to do more of this and as often as I can. I want to get inspired, get creative, express my self and share it with the rest of the world!

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